Germann Douglas D Sr PC

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Elder Caring Law: How we choose to practice

© 2011 Germann Professional Corporation

 

When you are caring for Mom or Dad, life is in a spin. Everything is moving, nothing stays the same. Wouldn’t it be good to have some time to breathe easily, to actually spend some good time with Mom or Dad, with your family, to talk about what really matters?

 

Or maybe your loved one is still here in body, but such a conversation seems improbable. Is it possible to have good times with them on some level, to have conversations that matter with your family members, to have quiet moments when you feel that what you are doing makes life whole and good for your family?

 

Elder Caring Law, as we practice it, is going deeper work, working toward wholeness in your last years with your loved one.

 

Elder Caring Law, as we practice it, is moving us along this spiraling deepening path:

 

—from Grieving (over what you have lost or fear you are about to lose—a loved one, a career, friends…)

 

—to the Dynamics of your setting (everything’s moving, but how you move can make a difference for good)

 

—to Ingenuity (among these people, your family, working together, there are the best answers to what faces you)

 

—to Poetry (there are good times ahead as there have been before, with sadness to tinge what is on the other side—and there is an other side which holds good)

 

—and hopefully to Whole-Making (“Whole” because life includes just this that you are going through, “Making” because we are always working at it: ends are never ends).

 

When we arrive we find ever more spirals.

 

The task is urgent: we think we are alone caring for Mom or Dad, we feel threatened, we scream instead of singing, we stop our ears and whistle a tune to block out what we don’t want to contemplate. What’s really going on is we hurt. But together there is a way through. It’s this together that Elder Caring Law is about, as we practice it.

 

We hurt until we see the need of healing…others. So we begin the spiraling journey to healing. If enough of us work on healing, we might get there quicker each time, and might move the healing forward.

 

If this is how you would like to gather your family together around your loved one, then please call on us to help.

 

You may be wondering about our term Elder Caring.

 

For me, the word caring shows action and engagement of everyone touched: friends, family, the elder him or herself. Care, on the other hand makes the elder an object of attention, passive recipient: an It. The elder is my client, the one with whom I must maintain as normal a relationship as possible. That means we each give and participate.